My FIFA World Cup 2010 Rant.

I can’t say I’m the first person to rant about this and I’m sure as hell not going to be the last but is there anything more asinine in this world than the fact that in 2010 there still are sports which refuse to embrace technology?? I am so sick and tired of watching a perfectly well-played game get decided because some half-blind referee made a bone-head call.

It is completely ridiculous that in the World Cup, watched closely by more people in the world than any other sporting event, including the Beijing Olympics, some referees are the only ones apparently not watching the game and THEY are the ones who decide the outcome!!

Last month Kaka was denied a perfect game because some fat referee was scratching his haemorrhoids at the time of Keita’s faking a nose bleed.

The so-called “human element” is one of the dumbest concepts in the history of the game. Maybe a century ago before television this was an excuse, but in 2010 when every person in the stadium has a smart phone able to stream an instant replay in seconds, it’s ridiculous that the referee can’t possibly ask for the same thing.

Frankly football has so many completely convoluted rules you could write a book. Football is so ass-backwards that they don’t even have the clock tick down like any normal sport, they have it ticking up. As for the extra-time; no one knows how much time it will be because the clock is kept on the field. This is like boxing where the 2 boxers fight it out with no idea how far into the round they are. Then there is the lame–brain off-side rule, and don’t get me started on the equally retarded penalty-corner that is more in favour of the defending team. And what are those Adidas’ Jabulani balls made of? Flubber?!!

This World Cup, which has been great, will be remembered primarily for those stupid vulvazelas,(yes, I call them that because they do send out genital noises). I bet South Africa would not have been selected to host the world cup had the selection committee but known about them, and even though their team was not favored to win, the South African fans blew away all other nations in the competition for the title of “Most Irritating Sound Made In Any Tournament”. You knew this because they would constantly entertain the public with mass ear-bleeding.

Second place of course would go to the total amount of blown calls by the refs. FIFA in its stupidity keeps throwing the “human element” at us which is an argument you only make when you have no argument to make.

Why can’t they review a goal? How many major matches have to be decided by “human error”?

Whether it’s the “Hand of God”, the “Hand of Congress(I)” or just the good old “Hand Job” someone has to blow (pun intended)some sense into FIFA. How many times do you need your biggest games decided by the worst calls? Crucial goals were taken off the board because of calls that were so blatantly bad they could have been correctly called by Kaka’s 70 year old grandmother Vera.

If FIFA should have learnt anything, it is that on their biggest stage their refereeing system is the laughing stock of the world. No matter how many years you have played without replay it is time to join the 21^st century, any moron that still claims that the human element adds something to the game must be living in the stone-age when balls were still cubes.

Another Public Service Announcement

How to save money on petrol/diesel

It makes no sense boo-hooing over the governments deregulation and subsequent increase in petroleum products. It’s only going to get more expensive in the days to come, given that:

A) The oil leak by BP (Barefaced Polluters) in the Gulf of Mexico does not seem to be nearing a solution.

B) America which has a reputation for guzzling gas, especially during the summer months increases its demand and processing prices alone go up by about 3 to 4 rupees a litre.

C) The government is never,never,never,never,never, EVER going to reduce excise and taxes on petroleum products, in fact they are probably already thinking of an additional petroleum “luxury” tax. Yes, it will soon BE a luxury to drive your car or bike on Indian roads, pot-holed as they may be.

On the plus side however, by declaring a ‘Bharat Bandh” the opposition has actually benefited Indian fuel consumerism in the same way the recession brought gas prices down globally.

But whether you're planning a road trip or just trying to avoid spending your paycheck on your daily commute, there's a lot you can do to save money on fuel. The best strategy is to simply drive less often, maybe carpooling or cycling instead, but even if that's not possible here is a list of things you CAN do to save both time and money.

1) Steady as you go.
Mileage lessens in most vehicles at high speeds. For cars once you're going faster than about 70 - 80 kmph; for every 10 kmph you drive over 80 kmph, you're essentially paying an extra 3 rupees per litre of petrol.

Try to maintain a constant speed on the highway. It can also help to use your car's overdrive gears, which save fuel and engine-wear.

2) Drive Smart in traffic
Aggressive driving — speeding, swerving, sudden acceleration and braking — is not only dangerous, it can lower your mileage 33 percent on highways and 5 percent on city streets. Revving your engine when in neutral is even more wasteful.

Anticipate when you need to reduce your speed or stop, slow down and change into the appropriate gear instead of slamming on the brakes. By coasting to a stop you save precious fuel and lessen wear on your tyres as well.

3) Don’t completely chill out
Air conditioning can be a big drain on fuel, so make sure you don't just leave it on absentmindedly, and especially don't have it going with your windows down, even if they just cracked open. You can improve your fuel efficiency in stop-and-go traffic by turning off the A/C and rolling down the windows instead, but in summer and given the dust and air pollution outside your car on Indian roads that's not really a very good idea.

When driving above 70 kmph, especially for long periods on highways, the opposite is true — open windows make the car less aerodynamic by letting in air, which increases air resistance and decreases fuel efficiency. On long road trips, using air conditioning could actually improve your mileage by up to 20 percent.

4) Don't just squat there
On top of pointlessly pumping out greenhouse gases without actually getting you anywhere, idling vehicles also contribute to ground-level ozone, airborne particulate matter and other near-surface air pollution. These emissions can aggravate asthma and even hinder breathing in otherwise healthy people, especially children and the elderly.

If you're just idling to warm up your vehicle in cold weather, it still only needs to run less than a minute. Anything beyond that is just wasting fuel.

5) Tune up
Repairing a vehicle that needs a tune-up or has failed an the pollution control test can improve its fuel efficiency by an average of 4 percent. More serious problems, like a faulty oxygen sensor, can reduce mileage by up to 40 percent.

And don't forget to get an oil change roughly every 5,000 kilometres or three months whichever comes first. (or you could look into importing and installing an Electro-Lube Oil Refiner, which reportedly eliminates the need for oil changes while boosting efficiency 3 to 4 percent).

6) Pump it up
Keeping your tyres properly inflated can improve fuel efficiency by about 3.3 percent. It's also safer and lengthens the lifespan of your tyres, since under-inflated tyres lose their tread quickly in addition to wasting fuel. Regular checkups for your tyres' alignment and balance aren't a bad idea, either.

7) Take a load off
While it mainly affects smaller cars, carrying extra weight means burning extra fuel, no matter how big your vehicle is. On average, you may be cutting your fuel efficiency by up to 2 percent for every 50 kilos extra you carry.

8) Be slick
Using the manufacturer's recommended grade of motor oil can boost mileage by 1 to 2 percent. Try to also use the regular unleaded fuel that's appropriate for your car, since high-octane grades cost several rupees more per litre.

Fill up at a trusted fuel bunk to be sure, but as long as your engine doesn't start knocking, you're probably OK. Switching from premium to regular fuel would save thousands of rupees every year.

9) Put a lid on it
Fuel can evaporate from a vehicle's tank if it's able to find an opening, which is bad for your wallet and your lungs. Make sure your gas tank's cap is tightened securely after you fill up, and if the cap's thread is worn or it fits too loosely, you might want to buy a new one. Also don’t fill your tank right to the brim, not only is it hazardous, there is also the possibility of spillage with fuel sloshing around when the vehicle is in motion.

10) Join the aam aadmi
Carpool or, even better, don't take a car at all — walk, ride a cycle, or take mass transit. It saves you money, improves your personal health, and helps the planet by keeping greenhouse gases out of its atmosphere. Try to work from home as much as possible…. if you have that option.

Happy motoring… and remember be courteous on the road, the guy who cuts you off or keeps blowing his horn from behind, may be carrying a lot of emotional garbage.