An invitation to those on the road to 60...My fellow soon-to-be-Senior Citizens take my hand and let us explore our Boomer history.....Okay let go of my hand now, because it’s hard to type.
I’m not going to whine, in another three years I’m going to hit 60 and it feels great.
I’m not going to moan about the negative. I’m going to be optimistic just like the great explorer Vasco da Gama who had a vision that he would conquer the world. People said he was foolhardy, but da Gama did not know the meaning of the word “foolhardy.” (He also did not know the meaning of “armpit” or “body odour” because he spoke Portuguese.)
And so Vasco da Gama boldly set out and discovered Calicut, returned to Portugal, then back to Goa, contracted malaria, and died in Cochin at age 55, which is two years younger than I am right now! OHMYGODMYLIFEISOVER!!!
No, forget it; I’m not going to be negative. I’m not going to dwell on getting wrinkled and rheumatic and forgetful, and having the warranties expire on my internal organs, bones and teeth. I’m going to focus on the positive aspects of things that happen when people turn my age, for example.....umm, aaah...okay it’ll come to me in a while.....
Ah! Yes, here’s one: It has just been brought to my attention that newspapers are still using the same type, and have been all along. Those are not ants crawling across the pages. To make out those letters which look like paramecium you need to take the first step towards Senior Citizenship and get some reading glasses! I did.
Unlike Superman: Where his alter ego Clark Kent takes off his glasses to become the mighty man of steel, I put mine on and become....... Old Fart.
With my glasses on I tend to behave differently as well. I become irritable if my toast is too crisp, angry if the kids playing outside are too noisy, and sick of World Space playing 60’s songs on "The Hop" that I hate; which is a lot of songs because I basically hate every non- Beatle song since the Beatles broke up.... except, “Love me Tender” by Elvis.
But my inability to read unassisted is not the only good thing about nearing 60. There’s also the fact that all the old trends from the 60’s are back in style (actually there were no 60’s trends, but we Baby Boomers like to think so.)
Take today’s Generation Y’s style (see pic below)
for example: after bad verse they called rap music, and wearing gigantic pants with the waist down around their knees; like a breath of fresh air returns bell-bottomed pants (called flares or boot-cuts now – sic!), long hair with a pony tail, and smoking a hookah.
Another good thing about being a baby boomer is that when I hear about all the things that are threatening the human race like global warming and the melting of the polar ice caps, the ozone layer, and toxic pollution, I smile concernedly but inside I’m really thinking: “No problem! By the time things get bad I’ll be dead!”
So fellow Baby Boomers lets see how much you remember or if you’re just pretending to be 60’s “hip”
First answer these simple questions:
1.Describe your first radio.
a.It was a Murphy with two big knobs and a needle in the centre, with a copper belted mesh-antenna running all the way across the room, or a Bush with a green “magic eye” and a round dial. And you had to wait for the valves to get heated first.
b.World Space Satellite Radio.
2.Do you remember the “Binaca Geet Mala” programme or the Birthday Request Programme from Radio Ceylon?
a.Definitely
b.You’re making those names up.
3. Who was the first President of India you were aware of?
a. Dr. Radhakrishnan
b. Donald Duck
4. Did you own a 78 r.p.m. record?
a. Yes and later a lot of 45 r.p.m. records that I carried in a case with a handle. And they had a little plastic insert for the larger hole.
b. A what ?
5. Do you remember when there was just one Indian Telephone Company? And all the phones were black with a circular dial and belonged to the telephone company. And if you had to call another city, you had to book a trunk call and wait like a prisoner in your house for days till the operator decided to connect you and then you had to shout at the top of your lungs to be heard?
a. Yes.
b. You’re saying there were no area codes or direct-dialling?
6. Do you remember playback singers Lata Mangeshkar and Mohammed Rafi were the only ones singing for Hindi movies and the actors would lip-synch their songs so badly as if they were hearing the songs for the first time?
a. Yes.
b. Mohammed Rafi ?
7. Did you ever do the Twist?
a. Of course.
b.The what?
8. Do you know how to Krump?
a. Huh?
b. Of course.
9. Do you remember when “gay” was a normal word denoting joy as in “happy and gay”?
a. Yes
b. That is so messed up!
10. Explain “Tarzan”.
a. King of the Jungle.
b. Rihanna’s new single.
11. Where were you the first time you heard the Beatles?
a. At a jam session.
b. A gleam in my father’s eye.
12. Define “Woodstock”
a. My experiments with weed.
b. Saving the rain forests.
If you answered “a” to the above questions then “Welcome” to the Boomer fraternity, and let us continue on with our journey.........
(to be continued...when i remember more stuff)
