We speeka da Engrish goodDon't you hate it when you see signboards that try to be cutesy or different with add-on letters like "The Bakers' Stoppe" or "Marys' Little Lambe Shoppe".
Methinx we should ask the Sales Tax Ministry to levy an add-on tax; say Rs. 50,000 for every frivolous extra letter. So for the word "shoppe" the proprietor will pay an additional Rs.100,000 per annum, flat and non-deductible. However, for any attempt to distort the meaning and add value by making a business sign look old and original such as " Marke and Fettles Olde Haberdashery" the owner should be summarily shot, without a trial.
Then there's the new Indian numerology fad that assigns numbers to the English alphabet- duh ! which allows the sum total of the letters of your name add up to your lucky number and J.Jayalalita becomes J.Jayalalithaa after which she promptly loses the election. If someone can pay for the services of a "Numerologist" ( I wonder if there's a recognised Doctorate course in Numerology!) to discover his extra letter, I say that, in the national interest, he should be required to pay an add-on service tax plus VAT, every time he signs his name.
And don't forget those restaurants with names such as Martin's Corner, Bosco's Vineyard and Anton's Shack which conjure up imaGES OF A GENIAL GREY-HAIRED POT-BELLIED GOAN "PATRON" ( arrrrgh! why did they put the "Caps Lock" key is right next to the "a" key! I say shift the "Caps Lock" key altogether .... to another room!) when in fact the ownership probably belongs to the guys responsible for approving defence armament purchases. Anyone found using such phony names should be fined heavily and made to display a signboard that reflects the actual ownership.( Hey! How about we go get some fried chicken wings at "Guys Responsible for Defence Armament Purchases".)
Tomorrow I'm taking Arun and Nalini out to dinner at 'Tony Carvalos' , a midlife crisis restaurant filled with middle-aged guys in shorts and sports shoes who claim they love 'Def Leppard', but actually think they're just OK. I wish they'd take those copper degchis, earthen pots with lights in them and farm plows, designed to create an ethnic, relaxed,old-fashioned decor but in fact creates an environment of funky wierdness, off the walls.... the food is great though.
Do you agree with me that "Ye Olde Mayor" in the picture there needs 40 lashes with a bull whip !
