In Retrospect.
I’m so hung-over; I still haven’t been able to get a firm handle on how I felt about the reunion. I suppose I’m just going to have to be content with saying it was a mixed bag. High school was such a difficult time for me. It was the most trying period in my life. All the while on the outside, appearing to be a normal teenager. I had my share of hormonal changes too. Luckily there is no photographic evidence of my indiscretions.
Like Aamir Khan, but Fatter and Uglier
I think the toughest part of going to this reunion was the realization that some people had not moved on since high school. There were people there drinking shamefully; I was so shocked, I joined them.
It’s clear that many of them are still “partyin’ hard.” Get a grip, people. You’re 55 plus years old. One of the biggest party animals in our class suggested we climb to the top of the hill at midnight. My mouth dropped open when he said that, I almost said, “Dude. We’re old now. And you need to lay off the booze because you’ve got some serious junk in the trunk. Also I think you killed one too many brain cells and may only have one left. You might need that one.”
I don't know about you, but when I see misguided individuals spending large sums of money on booze (money that could be used to feed the hungry) and on self-abuse, my reaction, as a humanitarian, is: How can I cash in on this?
This next part is for SHY women only…
So I have an idea. It's a weight-loss concept. It's called "The Reunion Weight Loss Plan.'' I got this idea from my wife, who recently had her college reunion, ate basically nothing and swam and exercised for the entire month preceding it.
When I got to the reunion, it was clear that the SHY ladies also had worked very hard to get back to the size they were in high school.
However some of the men had expanded to the actual size of the Montfort 1st field.
So Reunion Weight Loss Plan is not for guys. It’s meant to be effective for SHY women. The way it works is, you'd pay a fee, in return for which I will organize a reunion of your school EVERY WEEKEND. In addition to starving yourself, you'd enjoy lots of other perks:
1. You would get really, really good at doing The Limbo.
2. Your children would become self- sufficient and beg for food on the streets.
3. Your spouse would file for divorce.
The list is exhaustive!
For the record, I enjoyed my reunion, especially hearing people reminisce about the fun times they had in school. At one point, I was talking with one of classmates, who said: 'You see that big guy over there? I sat next to him at math class and every time we had an exam he would copy from my paper. "
''You're joking,'' I said. ''No,'' he said. ''At least you're not bitter,'' I said. Before he could make further comment I marched off to the bar, which is where men tend to gather at reunions.
But getting back to my point: I think the SHY Reunion Weight Loss Plan will be a huge hit. What I need now is start-up capital. So if you're a rich person, send me a cheque, OK? Do it soon!
……… Hands up you pervy men who read that para thinking it was something kinky.
The Sad Tale of Frustrated Testosterone
And then there were the bitter, single guys (there may have been some single women as well although I never found out) . One in particular whose name I remembered back in school was particularly bald, ugly and bitter now. Time hasn’t been kind to him. I walked into the hall and he was standing there and sees me and says in his most snotty tone “Your hair used to be (emphasize extreme distaste here) BROWN. Did you, like, dye it?” I debated whether it was worth choking the life out of him right there, but decided I might mess up my shoes. So I hit his angry bitterness where it hurts: “It got darker with my wife’s pregnancy.” And then I turned around and walked out. In broad daylight, my hair is still very dark, but under the dim lights there, I imagine it appeared quite a bit darker. I’ve never dyed my hair in my life. And I don’t have the time or energy to engage with someone who still acts like a bitchy teenager. Hard livin’ and too much time in the sun had not been kind to many people there.
A Lifetime Ago & Worlds Apart
I had thought that the reunion would be a great time to reconnect with people I had lost track of. What I realized once I got there though, was that it was really fun seeing some of the people I had been close to, but honestly, 41 years have passed. I’ve stayed in touch with the people that I really want to stay in touch with. And while it was great seeing some of them, it’s not like I’m going to pick up the phone and we’re going to pick up where we left off. There were a handful of ladies from SHY too that I really enjoyed seeing and catching up with, but the reality is that this week, we all go back to our lives as they are now. The past is gone. We knew each other a lifetime ago. And some of us knew each other really well and still know each other on that level that is so hard to achieve in adult friendships. But we can’t go back. We can only go forward. I had a hard time seeing the value in opening myself up again to stuff that’s long been buried. And I’m not the same person I was. Not even close. I find that with people who knew you so long ago, that when you re-connect, they often have a hard time seeing the person you’ve become.
I’m a thinking kind of person. I expect that many people don’t even bother to think about these things nor observe. And I admit that even though 41 years have passed, I still strongly dislike some people I disliked back then…. And I’m not even going to bring up “Paunchy”. I thought I was guilty of just carrying around baggage until Addie leaned over and said “Was that guy a huge tool in school too?” Lol. Maybe some people don’t change.
I just thought maybe I wasn’t looking hard enough.
Knock Three Times……
So as I sit here I am still trying to unwind, process and decompress. It’s only been a week since I got back from the reunion. As I’m looking up all the photographs that have been uploaded I think to myself “This place affected you immensely.” True, true, luv. So true……
