You think I'm exaggerating? You think it's not that bad? You're right! Sometimes it's worse.
Notwithstanding the lesser criminals, like Charlie Shobraj (came here for a bit of R& R from the rigours of Big City crime - now recreationing in a Nepalese jail), the Du Pont guys (now settled in Tamil Nadu and trying to get the Government to change the Constitution of India!) it warms the cockles of me heart, it does, to see the really big Kingfish, Socialite Restaurateurs, sundry actors and big city realtors (motto:have money will travel) , still unafraid to visit and continue to sample the spoils of this fair land with impunity.
Goan crime is well and flourishing if one is to go by the headlines alone on page 3 of the local Navhind Times(motto: The Newspaper You Can Trust).One whole page dedicated to, well you decide - and here are the headlines, ALL true :-
(a) Attempt to murder accused granted bail
(b) Two women in a hit and run case serious
(c) Vasco police register cheating and forgery case
(d) House burgled at Succour
(e) Harassment case
(f) 10-month infant found abandoned
(g) Three held for trespassing
(h) Man remanded to police custody for stabbing
(i) And the clincher……Girl held for making obscene gestures at passersby.
lalala.......and a partridge in a pear tree.
Or is January 13th just an unlucky day .
It was also the day of the arrival of Cavaco Silva distinguished foreign minister of Portugal (still referred by some as the motherland), who was here to promote one of his books – "How to Acquire property illegally and keep the locals from ever guessing" or "The Art of Brewing Vintage Feni". To help along sales of his book Goa University decided to confer on him an honorary degree of Doctor in Literature.
My favorite Welcome-To- Goa crime stopper is about Anil Jacob from Kerala who escaped from police custody while returning from a dental appointment. His friends; concerned that he was being tortured under the dentists drill decided enough was enough and proceeded dramatically to rescue him from his dreaded captors.
Now why did they have to go and use a Tata Sumo, ( they obviously did not read my recommendation that the Tata Sumo is an off-road vehicle and not meant to be raced on city roads which are reserved for Mitsubishi Monteros and the like) Long story short, the SUV turned turtle and 5 of them are in custody in place of Anil. Not a bad exchange I'd say, 5 for 1.
"Next time we should handcuff these heinous criminals" said the cops, "we can't have their uninvited friends freeloading in Goan jails as well!" There is a reward out for Anil with his picture - OF COURSE he has not had a haircut, or shaven his beard or now wears horn-rimmed glasses, why would he? No one recognizes him at the Rasta Israeli Bar Lounge and Grill at Arambol Beach, he just blends in.(based on my "lead" he was caught again just last week)
And while the drama played out, my friend Veena who was there at the time, shaken seriously, rushes over to the roadside Tour Operator agency, whose employees, in true heartwarming we're-all-in-this-together Goan fashion, are loudly informing her, through the glass door, that this incident did NOT occur on their property.
Meanwhile, distinguished Japanese author Sockitome San is lying down sideways on the car seat, possibly wondering if this is, in fact, the kind of community where people purchase a lot of prayer books. Welcome to Goa, sir! Anything else we can get for you? Bulletproof vest? Change of underwear?
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